Are you hesitant to plan ahead for fear of making the wrong decision?
Do you feel like both you and your partner aren’t on the same page far too often especially when taking major decisions?
If you can’t balance out your differences and walk into your marriage with confidence, premarital counselling can help!
Even if it all seems to be going well, why not build a stronger foundation with the help of an accredited therapist?
Premarital counselling can help identify potential conflict areas and equip you and your partner with tools to navigate them successfully. You can identify each other’s strengths and weaknesses so that you can set realistic expectations when planning for the future.
Research says that 30 percent of couples that underwent premarital education experienced higher levels of satisfaction post-marriage, as well as a 30 per cent decline in the likelihood of divorce over the first 5 years of marriage.
Here’s a list of important topics that you can discuss during your counselling sessions:
1. Family ties:
Counseling offers the opportunity to establish clear boundaries for decisions that may affect the couple. In a conflict of interest scenario, it needs to be made clear that the individual does not side with the parent, but keeps an open mind and tries to accommodate their partner’s preference.
2. Your role in the marriage:
Oftentimes couples have trouble being honest about the roles and responsibilities they are ready to take on in the marriage. While some women like being home to nurture the children, there are others who prefer to contribute financially by going to work. Same goes for men as well. Both sides need to be clear about what their expectations are and counselling can help bring that clarity.
3. Importance of Religion:
You get a chance to discuss the importance of faith and spirituality in your life and the implications it has in your day to day activities. Not just religion, but the values you live by as well so that you can walk into your marriage ready.
4. Willingness to have kids:
Even though it sounds like an obvious topic of discussion, a lot of people walk into marriages unsure about where they stand with the willingness to have kids. Counselling will offer an opportunity for you to ponder on the same and make a decision well in advance as a couple.
5. Decision making:
It’s important to be aware of whether or not your partner feels like their opinion is being valued when making decisions. A counsellor can help play a vital role in asking questions that will reveal the truth and give you a better insight.
What do you do when you and your partner have a disagreement?
Counselling can help you improve on your communication styles by helping you identify positive and negative communicative patterns. This can be especially helpful if one or both of you have issues with anger.
While this is a topic that is avoided most of the time, it isn’t intrusive to ask your partner about their lifestyle expectations, spending patterns, whether or not they have any debt, credit information and so on. These are important conversations that can help you plan out your finances and structure your future accordingly. You need to talk about how much each of you will contribute after marriage and the kind of investments you would like to make.
Informing your partner about your needs, desires and sex drive can help you have a happy sex life after marriage. It can often be uncomfortable talking about intimacy but that’s exactly what counselling can push you to do. You’ll definitely be sorry if you don’t have this conversation before marriage.
Based on your requirements as a couple you can opt for different kinds of counselling. Some of which are listed below.
1. In-person premarital counseling
As the name suggests, this is a kind of counselling where you meet with your counsellor offline face to face.
2. Online premarital counseling courses
Online counseling method that offers advice on anticipating and resolving conflicts that may arise once a couple is married.
3. Group courses, retreats, and discussions
It is always helpful to learn from other couples’ experiences so, if they share about a problem you are having or may face in the future, you will have tips on how to handle it.
Types of Couples Therapy that the counsellor may use are:
1. Gottman Method
In Gottman Method Couples Therapy, the purpose is to disarm conflictive verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create stagnancy; and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding in the context of the relationship.
2. Emotionally Focussed Therapy
EFT is a type of short-term therapy that is used to improve attachment and bonding in adult relationships. This approach to couples therapy is based on love as an attachment bond.
You and your partner engage in this type of therapy to explore your underlying hopes and fears to help you understand each other better.
All in all, premarital counselling can help you and your partner learn constructive communication, conflict resolution skills, eliminate dysfunctional behaviour and alleviate any fears related to marriage.
Click the link below to purchase our course on Premarital Counselling today. Let this be your first step towards a successful marriage.