Couple Therapy & Counselling: Relationship Counselling

‘You always leave your socks on the bed!’

‘You’re always nagging me about my mother!’

‘Do you remember the last time we went for a holiday?’

‘You’re always working!’

In any relationship, the above complaints are viewed as common. These short accusations, however, act like a ticking bomb. You don’t realize it, but you and your partner are steadily advancing towards a black hole where trust, understanding, and intimacy slowly die away.

Couples therapy is a type of psychotherapy. Licensed therapists help you and your partner to salvage your relationship from the black hole. If nothing is salvageable, they help you to rebuild the relationship afresh with a solid, sustainable foundation. 

Issues related to couples: 

Every relationship has its ups and downs. However, sometimes, it may feel as though the positives are diminishing. This might be due to the following issues:

Communication:

Often we assume that our partner will be able to mind-read and be aware of how we feel. When they don’t give the hints, we internally rage and feel ignored. This builds up misunderstanding and resentment. How to communicate for connection and understanding is also an art. Alas, we aren’t taught that in our schools and institutions.

Trust: 

Trust is a vital component of every relationship. But, trust issues can emerge when there is a lack of communication. Frequently checking our partner’s phone, questioning them, doubting them, and feeling jealousy in our relationship are signs that there may be a lack of trust between partners.

Intimacy:

As partners get familiar with each other, emotional and physical intimacy may lessen over time. This can happen due to a lot of reasons: not prioritizing each other, a loss of desire, feeling of boredom in the relationship, fleeting attraction to other people. A lack of communication and trust can further compound intimacy issues or vice versa, further entrenching couples in a vicious cycle.

How can counselling help?

Relationship counselling aims to provide a safe space where you can talk freely about sensitive issues. Therapy also aims to provide a platform where a couple can communicate with each other and find practical solutions to their problems. It also enables them to gain insights regarding the dynamics in their relationship and leads to an increase in emotional expression and greater problem-solving strategies. 

All in all, relationship counselling can empower couples to understand each other, to find unique solutions according to their unique needs, and subsequently grow in trust and intimacy.

Features of Incontact’s Couple Counselling 

Therapists at Incontact assist you in creating new and effective patterns of communication by using evidence-based interventions. By fostering intimacy, they aim to remove blocks in your relationship that contribute to issues. 

Our therapists are highly trained in Gottman Therapy and Emotionally Focussed therapy, which has been proven to be extremely vital in couples counselling. 

At Incontact, we ensure that you are provided with a safe and non-judgemental space where you, along with your partner, can talk freely about your problems. Our therapists specialize in helping to rekindle trust from the ground up. We are empathetic listeners and will work closely with you on strengthening your relationship. 

Incontact also offers individual therapy for relationship issues if your partner does not feel ready to take up issues as a couple just yet.

Marriage and Pre Marital Counselling 

Infidelity, money problems, infertility, and anger are some issues that people face in their marriages. During the course of your marriage, increased responsibilities may make it difficult for partners to prioritize each other. This widens the emotional and physical distance. 

Marriage therapy aims to resolve these issues through understanding, communication, and devising practical solutions that honor both individuals. This usually involves both the partners, but at times, therapy can be sought individually too. 

Marriage counselling can be beneficial in recognizing the sources of conflict and working towards resolving them together. It also works as an important tool to explain the different viewpoints that are present in your relationship and helps in increasing depth, trust, and understanding.

Couples can also opt for premarital counselling which will help them prepare for a successful and long-lasting marriage. You’ll be encouraged to discuss topics such as the roles of each partner, expectations, handling money, dealing with in-laws, etc. so that you’re prepared when these issues occur. 

Gottman Counselling as a method of couple counselling 

The goals of Gottman Counselling consist of addressing conflicts in a fruitful manner, building a life of shared meaning, and increasing closeness behaviors. It works on the principles of building love maps, managing conflict, expressing fondness and admiration, and solving problems, among others. 

The Gottman method is designed to support and suit couples across all racial and economic sectors as well as sexual preferences. It assists in promoting a positive change and outlook in the relationship. 

Consequently, Gottman Counselling is one of the most effective research-backed couples therapy methods.

Additional Services to Couples Counselling 

A couple is affected by lots of outside factors. Sometimes, one individual may be in a more sensitive phase, which begins to reflect in the state of the relationship. The following services will act as a great support to couples counselling:

Family Counselling 

Immediate family plays a subtle but vital role in the health of a couple’s relationship. Therapists at Incontact recognize this and help to foster effective communication among family members. This creates an additional support system that the couple can lean on in times of conflict and misunderstanding.

Women’s Counselling

Burdened by societal and familial pressures, a woman may begin to feel unloved and unappreciated. Therapists as Incontact have previously worked on various women-specific issues. Thus, they are well-versed in providing a supportive and self-empowering space where women can understand and heal the roots of their troubling thoughts and feelings. We encourage healthy coping mechanisms and self-acceptance.

Men’s Counselling 

Men often find it difficult to express emotions freely owing to social norms and expectations. This may lead to problems in their relationships if they are not able to communicate in a proper manner. A partner may take their silence to mean callousness or indifference. 

At Incontact, therapists have worked with a diverse group of men and understand the issues they go through in their daily life. Through men’s counselling, support is given to men to understand these issues and effectively communicate them to their partners.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ):

Q. Does going to couples counselling mean that our relationship is absolutely broken?

No. You can opt for couples counselling even when you are not facing any issues to cultivate deeper understanding between you and your partner. 

No relationship is 100% broken or perfect. There are phases of imperfections and perfections. Attending couples counselling will make it easier for you and your partner to navigate the different phases in a reasonable way. You will be able to identify recurring problems, understand why they happen, and learn to effectively communicate to resolve them. This will act as a training ground for handling future conflicts.

Q. How long do we need to go for couples counselling? How will relationship counselling help us?

There is no fixed time for any couple. Some problems require a longer time to resolve, and some get resolved in a short period of time. The time required is unique to each couple and the gravity of the situation. As long as you and your partner feel comfortable coming in for therapy, you may continue doing so.