Couple Counselling

Couple Counselling

It is normal for couples, both married and unmarried, to encounter numerous changes throughout the development of their relationship. Relationships go through changes over time, and at some points, couples may benefit from speaking to a neutral and non-judgemental party so that they may learn how to adjust to these changes. These changes may look like: embarking on parenthood, or moving in together, learning how to accommodate in-laws, navigating potential long-distance, accommodating a traumatic event experienced either separately or together, or changes in needs.

While some couples are able to overcome these challenges on their own, others may require additional support. Couples counselling can be a preventative approach to accumulative resentment or to mitigate and manage a repetitive conflict occurring in the relationship that neither of you seem to be able to reach a satisfying conclusion to. If these conflicts are not managed in a constructive manner, this can lead to resentment and possibly negative perspectives of each other in the relationship. Compounded over time, this can lead to the end of a relationship

Tackling the tough aspects of a relationship, from financial issues to infidelity, is now made easy through Couples Counselling at Incontact, where we hold space for you and your partners’ relationship goals and a platform for communicating in a way that ensures both parties feel understood.

What is Couples Counselling?

Couples often face challenges that arise due to varying beliefs or differing expectations for their relationship, leading to relationship stress. This can cause conflict and distance between you and your partner. Couples counselling facilitates a space where you can have difficult conversations and to turn those difficult conversations into means to build an authentic connection that will foster a deeper friendship and a long-standing relationship. In this space, we also encourage opportunities to communicate with each other over emotional and psychological challenges experienced in the relationship, through the support of an unbiased professional.

Who is Couples Counselling for?

Any couple! Both married and unmarried are welcome to seek professional support at any point in your relationship

Whether marital or premarital, couples counselling provides a safe space where you can feel comfortable talking about sensitive issues that you may be facing in your relationship. Couples counselling also aims to provide a platform that allows couples to communicate your thoughts and emotions effectively with each other in a conducive environment so that you and your partner can discuss practical solutions for the issues faced. This includes:

  • Navigating trauma
  • Building stronger foundations
  • Overcoming challenges
  • Learning how to adjust to life cycle transitions.
  • Adjusting to moving into a shared space together
  • The joining of families through a marriage
  • Welcoming in a new member such as a child and post-birth expectations
  • Differences in opinion on parenting styles
  • Financial hardships
  • Adjusting to life with a teenage child
  • Adjusting to life once that child has grown up and moved out
  • Navigating grief and other mental health issues.

Couples counselling is available to you at any time you wish. Your relationship does not need to be in jeopardy to qualify couples counselling. Some couples—regardless of conflict—may wish to take a preventative approach to safeguard their bond, embarking on couples counselling to prepare their relationship for the long-term.

Benefits of Couples Counselling

Imagine that your relationship is a joint savings account. Couples counselling is able to help you enrich that bank account, by investing in the relationship, so that you are able to draw upon the resources within it during hard times. Likewise, if you have hit hard times, couples counselling is able to facilitate effective use of your reserves in the savings account to mitigate the challenges that you experience as a couple.

Going through couples therapy facilitates a safe space where you can speak your mind about certain uncomfortable problems that you might be facing in your relationship, and allows you and your partner to better communicate with each other. Through this, couples can better understand each other’s perspective and emotions, so that they can find solutions that will appease both parties and perhaps restore trust between each other.

Outside of relationship conflicts, couples therapy provides you and your partner an opportunity to learn new things about each other and improve your relationship. It is common for intimacy to lessen over time as partners get more familiar with each other. Couples therapy helps you and your partner reignite that spark that drew you together in the first place and rejuvenate your relationship.

Couples counselling can be taken on at any point in your relationship, whether it’s used as a preventative measure or a protective one. It is beneficial to help build a stronger foundation to your relationship through means such as:

  • Building the commitment and trust in the relationship
  • Learning how to build an authentic connection with your partner
  • Learning how to identify and satisfy each others’ needs
  • Providing you a space to understand the deeper context to your partner
  • Fostering a deeper, intimate bond bidirectionally
  • Provides a platform for you to have difficult conversations
  • Strengthen the friendship and establish an intentional effort to make things work by showing commitment toward the relationship
  • Getting to the bottom of emotional unavailability in one or both partners
  • Navigating parenting together
  • And understanding how to function in a healthy and constructive manner during life cycle
  • transitions such as births, deaths, moving in together, marriage, divorce, managing in-laws, and the potential of drifting apart.

Why Choose Incontact Couples Counselling

At Incontact, we deliberately design our interventions in a way that takes into account that every circumstance is unique due to a major interplay of personal and external factors. Every couple is different. Which is why we do not use a cookie-cutter approach. Rather, understanding and taking into consideration the social, cultural and developmental contexts of the relationship along with your personal histories and baggages, we use a person-centred approach that can benefit all parties in the relationship. We strongly believe in advocating for and building a respectful and genuine relationship with our clients such that we may more effectively support your healing journey. This therapeutic relationship is the key to building a safe space for both partners within the therapeutic space. While we develop and build on the skills that you and your partner require to achieve a satisfying experience, we individualise the therapeutic process in order to best fit your needs as a unique couple.

At Incontact, our psychotherapists are trained professionals that can help you overcome your negative communication patterns and explore solutions that work for you based on your relationship’s strengths and weaknesses. Recognising that every relationship is unique, our therapists adapt different counselling plans and approaches to best fit you and your partner’s needs and interests. Many of our clients leave Incontact with a happy relationship where there is a strong sense of commitment, appreciation, affection and love for their partner.

Our Couples Counselling Approach

The main counselling intervention employed by our therapists is the Gottman Method Couples Therapy. Our therapists also use Prepare/Enrich, Family Systems Therapy and Internal Family Systems in couple counselling.

Extensively trained in the Gottman method, a proven and tested approach to couple therapy, our SAC certified psychotherapists can help you and your partner work through resentment and manage conflicts. In couples counselling, our therapists will use specific interventions suited to help couples, such as Gottman Method Couples Therapy, which is based on the Sound Relationship House Theory, as well as statistical research that forms a structured methodology to help couples effectively manage conflicts and build deeper friendships. In short, the goals of the Gottman Method include increasing closeness and friendship behaviours, addressing conflict productively, and building a life of shared meaning together. Couples learn what their patterns of disagreement are like in order to facilitate positive interactions and resolve past wounds. The Gottman Method customises principles from the wealth of psychological research to each couple’s particular patterns and challenges.

Likewise, we are also trained in Prepare/Enrich, Family Systems Therapy and Internal Family Systems, which help to navigate life cycle transitions and difficult times ahead. Prepare/Enrich is a global standard of assessing couples, in that it is a dynamic evaluation tool that adapts and reacts realistically to the changes in a relationship. Supported by continued research, this method aims to reliably assess and inform our therapists who will use the feedback to strengthen and enrich your relationship. This method allows the couple to gain deeper insights and understandings on your dynamics, personalities, stress, strengths and areas for growth. Incorporated into our unique, dynamic and individualised therapeutic intervention methods, these serve as reliable guidelines to understanding you as a couple and investing in your journey together.

Our therapists aim to restore the respect and trust that the two of you have for each other in this manner, so that you can leave Incontact with a happy relationship of mutual affection and assurance.

Common Issues We Address

Communication Problems

Sometimes, we assume that our partner will be able to read our mind. We expect them to be able to anticipate or understand our thoughts and emotions without us having to explicitly communicate it to them. This is especially so for couples who have been together for many years – there is a high expectation of being able to understand each other inside and out. When our partners invariably fail to meet those expectations, conflicts might arise and we may feel disappointed, angry or unloved. Additionally, some couples experience the problem of avoidance and stonewalling during conflict, or exhibit people pleasing tendencies to placate the other party rather than approach the problem. Not being able to be honest and open with our partners is a problem that can snowball into other larger conflicts and misunderstandings in the relationship.

Lack of Trust / Trust Issues

Trust is a vital yet extremely fragile component of every relationship. Trust issues can emerge when there is a lack of communication and transparency between the couple. Not trusting your partner can allow you to engage in destructive habits such as frequently checking your partner’s phone, questioning them, doubting them, and feeling constantly or excessively jealous. These habits can give rise to an unhealthy and unhappy relationship.

Emotional Dissatisfaction or Lack of Intimacy, Attention and Affection

As partners get familiar and grow increasingly comfortable with each other, emotional and physical intimacy may lessen over time. This can happen due to a lot of reasons: not prioritising each other, a loss of desire, feeling bored in the relationship, or even fleeting attractions towards other people. As such, partners may perceive less effort invested into the relationship, causing them to feel unloved and upset, resulting in conflict. A lack of communication and trust can further worsen intimacy issues or vice versa, further trapping couples in a loop of seemingly endless conflict and misunderstanding.

Infidelity

Unfaithfulness or infidelity is a problem that can happen in many relationships. Although it is looked down upon in society, cheating is still a rather common problem that many couples face. Affairs can happen both online and in-person, where one shares an emotional, physical and/or sexual attraction or relationship with someone outside of their spouse. Apart from causing one’s spouse to feel a strong sense of betrayal, infidelity also destroys the trust that may have taken a lot of time and effort to build in the marriage. An absence of trust will subsequently bring a plethora of other relationship issues.

Financial Issues

Relationships can be strained very easily over financial problems. Money plays a large role in all our lives, and this is doubly so when there is a family to support. At the same time, money is a highly sensitive issue that needs to be discussed with care and consideration for each party’s needs and wishes. If finances—both joint and individual—are not managed and planned out properly, monetary issues can surface which may cause conflict and misunderstanding. These problems can be worsened if trust and effective communication between partners are lacking.

Sexual Differences

Differences in sex drive between spouses is also a common cause of conflict among couples, even in long-term relationships. While physical intimacy has its importance in every relationship, each individual has their own preferences and desires. In many cases, when one partner’s needs are met, the other feels rejected, unheard and ignored. When couples are unable to work through these differences and find common ground, frequent arguments regarding this issue of sex and intimacy will surface repeatedly and strain the marriage.

Unrealistic Expectations

Occasionally fantasising about having certain unattainable things in life or wishing their partner acted differently is perfectly normal for most people. However, this becomes a problem when one acts on these fantasies of the perfect partner and imposes their desires on their existing partner, expecting them to change themselves to fit these expectations. This mismatch in desires and expectations, when not agreed upon by both partners or too unreasonable, can cause tension and conflicts in the marriage.

Apart from these issues, there may be other factors in the relationship that may be dissatisfying. These include:

  • Negative communication and repeated arguments
  • Repeated arguments about the same issue
  • Avoiding conflict by stonewalling or people-pleasing
  • Anxieties projected onto each other
  • Lying or keeping secrets from each other
  • Feeling increasingly insecure with yourself or the relationship
  • Losing interest in your partner and the relationship

It is completely normal for couples to encounter some form of misunderstanding or disagreement. This can cause conflict and distance between you and your partner. If you spot any of these signs in your relationship and you want to work through these issues with your partner in a safe and professional environment, contact us at 91348147 or fill out the Contact Us form to book an appointment.

Confidentiality Assurance

At Incontact Counselling and Training, we prioritise the confidentiality and privacy of our clients above all else.

Our team comprises counsellors and employees who have each signed legally binding confidentiality clauses, affirming their commitment to upholding the strictest standards of confidentiality. We handle all client information with the utmost care, ensuring it is kept secure and private at all times. We operate under the principle of non-disclosure, meaning that unless required by law or in cases where there is a severe risk of harm, we do not share client information with third parties without explicit consent.

Every interaction and communication with our clients is conducted privately and confidentially, fostering an environment of trust and respect. Moreover, we continuously review and enhance our confidentiality policies and procedures to ensure they align with the highest industry standards. Your privacy is paramount to us, and you can rest assured that your information is safe with Incontact Counselling and Training.

How to Get Started

At Incontact, we are well-trained in couples counselling and prepared to hold space for you and your partner, as well as to provide a platform for you to decide the best course of action for your relationship. Whether you wish to improve your relationship with your partner, reignite the passion and love that you share with them, or to find a safe, conducive space with an objective third party to discuss a serious topic, we are here to ensure that your needs are met.

Contact us and book an appointment to start your healing journey

Professional Affiliations and Certifications

Our counsellors are accredited by the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC). Our counsellors are also trained in therapeutic approaches specifically catered to couple counselling, such as Gottman Method Couples Therapy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Answer: No, some couples choose to attend couple counselling even when they are not facing any serious issues just to cultivate deeper understanding between each other. No relationship is ever completely broken, not will it ever be completely perfect. Every relationship has its fair share of struggles and good times. Counselling for couples will allow you and your partner to learn how to work through your relationship’s struggles and build on the strengths.

Answer: In sum, couple counselling can provide you and your partner a safe and conducive space to communicate your thoughts and feelings, and explore helpful solutions to the issues that you may be facing as a couple.

Answer: There is no fixed timeline for any couple going through couple counselling. Some problems require a longer time to resolve, and some get resolved in a short period of time. The time required per counselling session, as well as the number of recommended sessions are different for every couple, based on the issues that they are facing and their unique relationship traits.

The cost per session differs depending on the therapist selected and can be seen under our ‘Fees & Terms’ page.

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Incontact Counselling & Training

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