Marriage may not always be smooth sailing. It is completely normal for married couples to encounter some form of misunderstanding or disagreement during their years of marriage. Married couples may face conflicts that arise due to varying beliefs or differing expectations in their relationship, leading to marital stress. This can cause conflict and distance between you and your partner. While some couples are able to resolve their differences and marital problems on their own, others may require some additional help from either family, friends or professionals.
Every couple is faced with their own unique set of problems. However, many of these issues stem from similar root causes which may include:
Unfaithfulness or infidelity is a problem that can happen in many relationships. Despite it being highly intolerable and shunned upon in society, cheating is still a rather common problem that many couples face. Having extra marital affairs can take place both online and in-person, where one shares an emotional, physical and/or sexual attraction or relationship with someone else. Apart from causing one’s spouse to feel a strong sense of betrayal, infidelity also destroys the trust that may have taken a lot of time and effort to build in the marriage, and an absence of trust will bring a plethora of other grave problems.
Especially for couples who have shared many years of marriage together, getting too comfortable in the marriage may cause us to put in lesser effort into the marriage than our partner would prefer. This often causes our partner to feel unloved and upset, resulting in conflict. Not giving your partner enough love and attention not only affects the intimacy shared, but can also make them feel insecure and doubtful. Thus, it is extremely important for both parties to be consistent in their efforts in ensuring that your partner feels loved and appreciated, regardless how long you have been together.
Sometimes, we assume that our partner will be able to read our mind. We expect them to be able to anticipate or understand our thoughts and emotions without us having to explicitly communicate it to them. This is especially so for couples who have been together for many years – there is a high expectation of being able to understand each other inside and out. When our partners fail to do so, conflicts arise and we often feel disappointed, angry or unloved. Not having an open and effective communication with our partners is a very real problem that can lead to many other bigger conflicts and misunderstandings in the relationship
Marriages can be strained very easily over money-related problems. In the most obvious ways, money plays a huge role in our lives, and even more so when we have a family to support. At the same time, money is a highly sensitive issue that can give rise to much misunderstanding and conflict. If the family’s finances are not managed and planned out properly, several problems can surface which may negatively impact one’s marriage. Financial problems encountered in a marriage can be worsened if trust and effective communication are lacking.
Differences in sex drives between spouses is also a common cause of conflict among married couples. While physical intimacy has its importance in every relationship, every individual has their own preferences and desires. When couples are unable to work through these differences and find common ground, frequent arguments regarding the same issue of sex and intimacy will surface over and over again. In many cases, when one partner’s needs are met, the other feels rejected, unheard and ignored.
Having unrealistic expectations and occasionally fantasising about certain things in life can be normal for some. However, this becomes a problem when one acts on these unrealistic expectations of their spouses and forces them into changing themselves to fit these expectations. This mismatch in desires and expectations, when not agreed upon by both partners, can result in tension and conflicts in the marriage.
Trust is a vital yet extremely fragile component of every relationship. Trust issues can emerge when there is a lack of communication and transparency between the couple. Not trusting your partner can allow you to engage in destructive habits such as frequently checking your partner’s phone, questioning them, doubting them, and constantly feeling constantly or excessively jealous. These habits can give rise to a highly unhealthy and unhappy relationship.
Marriage counselling can be beneficial for married couples who wish to work on their marriage. By giving you an opportunity to identify and understand the issues and conflicts faced in your marriage, counselling allows you to improve the relationship that you and your spouse share by working through these issues and reasons for conflict.
At the same time, marriage counselling can also provide you and your spouse with a safe and conducive space to communicate your thoughts and emotions effectively, allowing you to understand your partner better. With open and effective communication, there is ample opportunity for you and your spouse to reconnect by rebuilding trust and acceptance for each other. Subsequently, this enables you and your spouse to increase mutual support for each other as well as increase your emotional and physical intimacy.
At Incontact, our therapists are trained professionals who can help you overcome your negative communication patterns and explore solutions that work for you based on your marriage’s strengths and weaknesses. Our therapists have vast experience in helping married couples find their way out of the many different conflicts faced. Recognising that every marriage is unique, our therapists adapt different counselling plans and approaches that best fit you and your spouse’s needs and interests. t
Extensively trained in the Gottman method, a proven and tested approach to couples therapy, our psychotherapists can help you and your partner work through any resentments and manage conflicts, and eventually reignite the respect and admiration that the two of you had for each other.
If you and your spouse are facing issues which you find hard to resolve on your own, get in touch with our therapists who can help you. Book an appointment for either an online or in-person counselling session with us today.
Answer: Marriage counselling helps restore the emotional intimacy that was once present in the relationship through techniques and improve communication. Given a platform to openly converse with each other,the chance of any further misunderstanding is reduced, and conflict resolution can be facilitated. Our therapists will also be able to offer you with techniques that can help you and your spouse reconnect with each other and regain each other’s trust and acceptance in the marriage.
Answer: There are some signs indicating that you and your partner may need couples counselling. Some of these indicators may include: