The Gottman method was devised by Dr. John Gottman. It is a structured form of couple’s therapy. It is an approach which is based on 40 years of research with thousands of couples.
The Gottman Method for Healthy Relationships is a form of couples-based therapy and education that includes a thorough assessment of the couple relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory (SRH).
The Gottman Method Theory aims to increase :
- Friendship and closeness in couples
- Building a shared life together.
- Being more attentive and considerate to your partner.
It does this by showing them ways to deal with problems and conflicts in a positive way. Not all conflicts have a solution, but the theory is that you can learn to live with it and not allow it to destroy your relationship.
Some of the relationship issues that may be addressed in therapy include:
- Frequent conflict and arguments.
- Poor communication.
- Emotionally distanced couples on the verge of separation.
- Specific problems such as sexual difficulties, infidelity, money, and parenting.
- Even couples with “normal” levels of conflict may benefit from the Gottman Method Couples Therapy.
The Gottman Method identifies nine Principles, which the couple must work through together in order to nourish and maintain their relationship.
- Build love maps – this will help partners to learn more about each other’s inner world, joys, hopes, and concerns.
- Share fondness and admiration – regular expressions of appreciation and respect increase affection and reduce contempt.
- Turn towards instead of away – state your needs, become more aware of bids for connection turn towards them. Small happy moments are the building blocks of a happy relationship.
- Develop a positive perspective – a positive mindset improves problem-solving and repair attempts.
- Manage conflict – conflict is a natural part of all relationships and it may have functional, positive effects. Couples need to understand how to solve problems that are solvable and manage problems that pop up repeatedly.
- Make life dreams come true – create a comfortable environment where each partner is able to speak honestly about his or her dreams, values, and aspirations.
- Create shared meaning – learn more about the myths, narratives, visions, and metaphors of the relationship.
- Instill trust – it is vital that couples know their partner has their back.
- Develop commitment – couples must act on the belief that their relationship is a lifelong journey for better or worse. If the relationship becomes worse, both partners must be willing to work to improve it.
Summary Based on Gottman Method
1. First Communicating with couples and evaluating
2. Second Modifying map of love
3. Third Strengthening the sense of attachment and praise
4. Fourth Taking steps to each other instead of turning backs on each other
5. Fifth Accept your partner’s influence
6. Sixth Solving solvable problems
7. Seventh Continuing to train the pattern for solving conflicts and remove obstacles and problems
8. Eighth Goal of the sixth principle, overcoming the barriers of concept of impasse in marital relations, identifying the impasse causes
9. Ninth The realization of common concept
10. Tenth Final discussion regarding the meetings and posttest
Post Written By: InContact Counselling & Training.
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