Social Anxiety Hacks Unlocked

By | April 14, 2022 | |

Have you ever gotten sweaty palms and jittery legs before entering a room full of people? Or paced up and down overthinking the start of a conversation before walking up to someone?

Social anxiety can look different to each person but is a part of common situations that make most people anxious. Giving a presentation to a large audience, eating alone in a café, sitting by yourself in a park, dancing at weddings, going on dates and the list goes on.

Some more subtle signs of social anxiety are:

  • Slipping into the kitchen with an excuse to prepare something to serve when guests come over.
  • Asking continuous questions in conversations so the other person is doing most of the talking.
  • Pretending to be busy on your phone when walking alone.

While you may relate to some of these, you may also find that other simple things like making a conversation with a cousin you haven’t met in a long time can be nerve-racking for some people.

Some physical symptoms of social anxiety can be excessive sweating, light-headedness, muscle tension, rapid heartbeat, weeping and sometimes even diarrhoea.

How does it start?

Social Anxiety can stem from bullying or some kind of teasing in the past. It can also be linked to having an overactive amygdala. Your amygdala is the part of your brain that controls your fear response.

Tips for living with Social Anxiety

1. Improve on self-awareness:

Be conscious and self-aware of what situations trigger you. Keep a note of your surroundings, your response and other sights/sounds around you. Only when you are aware of the situations that trigger you, can you then work on them.

2. Visualize your confidence in a social setting:

Visualize yourself in a social setting. If it makes you anxious, snuggle with a pet or turn on some calming music or eat some comfort food while you do it, but don’t skip this step.

3. Prepare:

Perform some breathing exercises before you set out to make sure you’re in a calm state. Stretching can help too. When tense, our bodies tend to get stiff so relaxing our muscles can help in releasing the anxiety.

Another way to prepare is to role-play with people you trust. Once you are self-aware, you will know the kind of situations that make you most anxious. Ask a loved one to role-play some of these conversations with you so you can practice ways to get through them.

4. Start small:

Make eye contact with someone at the store and smile or raise your hand in class to answer. Eventually, move to hosting small events for close friends and family.

5. Don’t allow yourself to get in your head:

Negative talk isn’t the only cause of social anxiety but it certainly fuels the condition. Thoughts like, “I’m not dressed for this occasion”, “No way can I walk up to them and start talking.”, “I can barely even hold a conversation with my mom”, are negative thoughts that you have to push back. Shift your attention to what’s happening around you, instead of wondering if you seem anxious to other people.

6. Therapy:

A type of behavioural therapy called exposure therapy can help with social anxiety. A counsellor can help expose you to social situations that make you uncomfortable and gradually make you feel at ease.

Another type of therapy that can help only with certain types of social anxiety is relaxation therapy. As the name suggests, you learn techniques that help with relaxation. These include meditation, stretching and breathing exercises.

7. Be Kind:

In a 2015 study of 115 college students living with social anxiety, performing small acts of kindness for 4 weeks helped reduce social anxiety. This works because social anxiety stems from the fear of rejection. The approval that you get when you do something nice for someone helps combat this fear of being rejected.

8. Medication:

Generally, taking medicines is the last resort mainly for people that experience intense physical symptoms. The FDA has approved various drugs but it’s best to consult a psychiatrist.

Bottom line:

Having a quality small group of close friends who stand by you is what counts more than a bunch of acquaintances that rarely talk to you. However, this doesn’t mean that it’s okay not to mix with anyone other than your close friend circle.

Networking with people can help build new relationships that add joy to life. Not everyone you meet has to turn into a close friend, some can simply be positive people that are great to hang out with every once in a while.

Maybe, someone who could be your best friend, someone who truly gets you or someone who likes the same things as you is waiting for you. The question is, will you let your social anxiety get in the way of finding them?

At Incontact Counselling and Training, we are a team of passionate counsellors who can help you deal with your social anxiety. For more information and to book an appointment, connect with us on www.incontact.com.sg.

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