Vulnerability as a strength

Hi there, I’m Aarti, Founder and Lead Counsellor at Incontact. Welcome to the 9th edition of 1-1-2 Inspire!

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As I write this, I’m reflecting on a word that has woven itself through the fabric of my life over the past few years: vulnerability. If I’m honest, I’ve always found vulnerability uncomfortable. Like many of us, I’ve associated it with weakness, with being exposed or unprepared. But through my work as a counsellor—and my own personal growth—I’ve come to see vulnerability as something else entirely: a profound source of strength.

This realization deepened when I read The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. Her words helped me understand that vulnerability isn’t a liability; it’s the foundation of courage, connection, and wholehearted living.

In this edition of 1-1-2 Inspire, I want to explore vulnerability through Brené’s lens and share how embracing it has changed me—and can change you too.

At its essence, vulnerability is about showing up as you are—without masks, without pretense—and allowing yourself to be truly seen. It’s the willingness to say, “This is me, flaws and all,” even when you fear rejection or judgment.

But here’s the paradox: while vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, and connection, it’s also deeply uncomfortable. It requires letting go of control and stepping into uncertainty. No wonder we resist it!

In my own journey, I’ve often grappled with vulnerability in the face of challenges. Whether it’s admitting I don’t have all the answers as a professional or confronting deeply personal fears, I’ve had moments where vulnerability felt impossible. But each time I’ve chosen to lean in, I’ve discovered something surprising: it doesn’t diminish me. It frees me.

Brené uses the metaphor of a trust vault to explain how vulnerability builds connection. Each time we allow ourselves to be vulnerable with someone, we place a small coin of trust in the vault. Over time, these moments of openness create the deep relationships we all crave. Without vulnerability, the vault remains empty—our connections remain surface-level and unsatisfying.

Another of Brené’s insights that struck me is the idea that vulnerability is the antithesis of perfectionism.

Perfectionism tells us we must appear flawless to be loved or accepted. Vulnerability, on the other hand, invites us to embrace our flaws and imperfections as part of our humanity. It’s not about oversharing or seeking pity; it’s about daring to be authentic, even when it’s hard.

When I reflect on my most meaningful experiences—both personally and professionally—they share a common thread: they all required vulnerability. Whether it was sharing a difficult truth, asking for help, or taking a creative risk, each moment brought growth and connection I couldn’t have achieved any other way.

As Brené reminds us, “We can’t selectively numb emotions.” When we try to numb vulnerability to avoid discomfort, we also numb joy, love, and gratitude.

Embracing vulnerability isn’t just about tolerating discomfort; it’s about opening ourselves to the full spectrum of human experience.

So, what would happen if you chose to embrace vulnerability? What would happen if you allowed yourself to be seen—not for who you think you should be, but for who you truly are?

The most transformative lesson from The Gifts of Imperfection is this: vulnerability is not weakness; it is strength. It takes immense courage to show up and be seen, especially when we’re unsure of the outcome.

Brené Brown’s research shows that vulnerability is the foundation of trust, belonging, and creativity. It’s what allows us to connect deeply with others and find meaning in our lives. When we dare to be vulnerable, we give others permission to do the same, creating a ripple effect of authenticity and connection.

As I reflect on my own journey, I’ve realized that my most courageous moments have also been my most vulnerable ones. Whether it’s sharing a personal story, admitting I don’t have all the answers, or facing a fear head-on, vulnerability has been the key to growth and transformation.

My takeaway for you is this: Dare to be vulnerable. Lean into the discomfort, knowing it’s a bridge to deeper connection and greater joy.

When you shut your eyes for the day, ask yourself: Did I show up as my authentic self today?

Reflect on moments when you held back and moments when you let yourself be seen. Over time, this practice will help you build a habit of authenticity.

This can bring you back to the present when emotions feel overwhelming.

The next time you feel vulnerable, pause and reframe the moment. Instead of thinking, This feels scary or weak, remind yourself, This is courage in action.

Celebrate the fact that you’re showing up despite the discomfort.