Premarital counselling is a specialized type of family therapy which helps couples prepare for marriage. It helps couples to build a healthier, stronger bond and lay the foundation for the best married life that they can have. It aims to clarify the doubts of the couple about marriage before they step into this new phase of their lives, as it can be equal parts exciting and daunting at the same time. It prevents small issues from escalating into bigger problems in their married life. It helps couples identify the expectations they have from married life. It helps them understand their fears and anxieties about marriage in general, and about solving major problems like making decisions about children and money, etc.
Why Pre-marriage Counselling?
Counselling can help couples understand each other better and drastically reduces the chances of divorce. Premarital counselling can help you strengthen your relationship and reach your potential as a couple. Moreover, isn’t that what marriage is about?
Moreover, people also assume that this kind of therapy is just for those couples who are in the midst of many challenges and are having a lot of trouble trying to make their relationship work.
That isn’t the case. The essence of premarital counseling lies in preparing the client for marriage and helping them flourish in their bond and soon to be marital union. Broadly saying, even though premarital counselling won’t be on the top of your to-do list and planner for your wedding, it is the most crucial step that you can take before the big day as it leads to a successful, happy married life!
How Premarital Counselling Works
Premarital counselling, in a nutshell, is something that you should opt for if you care about our relationship enough to make it as good as possible.
What it does is it gives you the opportunity to learn some skills and conflict resolution strategies to prevent possible emergencies that could potentially harm your relationship in the future. We identify your strengths and weaknesses and help you use the strengths to make your bond stronger and work on the weaknesses to attain a win-win situation in any compromises that need to be made.
We teach you how to get on the same page with your partner and reach agreement on common issues, and how to communicate productively during emotionally challenging situations. Premarital counselling also teaches you how to keep positivity and romance alive in your relationship and work as a team to tackle the problems of life together.
Issues Addressed in Pre Marital Counselling
Premarital counseling addresses a broad range of issues that can arise among couples while preparing for a marriage and in general as well. A few of the major issues that pre-marriage counseling can help with are:
- Resolving Conflicts: Pre-marital counselling can help equip the partners with the knowledge and understanding of some conflict resolution techniques that drastically lowers the chances of a small clash in a conversation turning into a huge problem. It helps the partners understand each other’s tendencies in resolving conflict, and their perception of the existing issues. It helps improve the couple’s ability to come to terms on issues where they disagree.
- Communication: The most important element of any relationship is, undeniably, communication. Good communication skills can result in better developed relational self. That results in improved relationships and ultimately a good married life. Pre-marriage counselling helps the couple understand whether their current communication style is adaptive or maladaptive, and if it is the later then how they can shift to a better communication pattern. It helps enhance both the individuals’ ability to communicate effectively.
- Finances: Financial problems top the list of stressors in romantic relationships. Moreover, in marriages, shared bank accounts, taxes, and mortgage payments can very rapidly complicate the business side of relationships, which is certainly just as important as any other sphere of a marriage. Pre-marital counselling addresses these issues by helping the couple be more honest and transparent with each other.
- Marital expectations and beliefs: Premarital counselling can help determine and lay out the expectations for marriage and the life afterwards of both the parties. This is important because couples are often unclear about their expectations from the marriage and often unaware of their expectations differing, if they do. This can lead to misunderstandings which can snowball into becoming serious concerns later in the marriage. A premarital therapist will encourage the clients to discuss their expectations, and help them work towards finding ways to compromise.
- Personal values: As individuals, we all have a set of personal values which might or mightn’t be similar to those of our partners. Discussing them is important before entering the union of a marriage. Shared values are also known to be more important than common interests and couples with same values have a higher chance of maintaining a successful marriage.
- Sex and Intimacy: Both the partners may or may not be comfortable discussing their sex life. However, it is important to do that as the expectations for intimacy and the sexual sphere of the relationship for both the partners should be known and understood by the other well. It is a crucial area of married life which cannot be left undiscussed. An ability to have a proper discourse about these issues without holding back on anything helps to maintain the relationship.
Incontact’s Pre Marriage Counselling Services
We at Incontact are a team of well-trained professionals who specialize in premarital counseling and couples counselling and have helped couples walk gracefully through different stages of their relationship and married life. In simple terms, we’re here to help you make your relationship great.
We understand that the last few months before the big day can be very stressful for both the partners. That crucial time is also the perfect time to improve upon your relationship and prepare for the next stage in life, which we can help you do with the help of a broad-ranging approach in our therapy sessions, which involve the use of evidence-based interventions. Our team of mental health professionals are extensively trained in Gottman Therapy and Emotion Focussed therapy which are proven to be the most effective forms of interventions for couples.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q. When should we go for premarital counselling?
Premarital counselling is recommended as soon as you start considering marriage, family and long-term relationships seriously. Getting started as soon as possible would help you reap the most benefits as there would be more time (and space, in a sense) available for us to work upon the relationship.
Q. Is premarital counselling necessary?
No, it isn’t necessary to go for premarital counselling. However, not investing in premarital counselling can lead to many consequences when unexplored issues appear later on. As a result it can be much more difficult and expensive to deal with it then (just the way it is with not exercising regularly, not eating or sleeping well and how things like that lead to many complications).