Healing is not linear, 5 senses check-in, & the messy middle
Hi there, I’m Aarti, Founder and Lead Psychotherapist at Incontact.
A warm welcome to the 7th edition of 1-1-2 Inspire! Whether you’re a first-time reader or have been with us from the start, I’m so glad you’re here. This week, I’m reflecting on Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb.
This book is a beautifully raw and relatable reminder that healing is rarely a straight road—it’s full of twists, turns, and moments that surprise you. Lori’s insights as a therapist and a human being are heartwarming, thought-provoking, and sometimes even funny.
I hope today’s story brings a little light into your day. 💛
Here’s 1 story, 1 takeaway, and 2 tips to see you through a brighter week.
1 Story
Breaking open to heal
Lori Gottlieb’s therapy room sees it all—the heartbreak of loss, the sting of rejection, the struggle for meaning, and the messy, non-linear healing process. 💔
But one of her most touching stories is about John, a Hollywood producer.
When John first enters therapy, he’s arrogant, abrasive, and seems to be there only to vent. He calls people “idiots” and has little patience for anyone who crosses his path. Under his bravado lies a deep pain—a grief so raw he doesn’t know how to express it.
His wife, his anchor, has died unexpectedly. His anger and sarcasm are a shield, keeping him from facing the unbearable.
Over time, therapy chips away at John’s defenses. One day, as Lori gently challenges his walls, John shares a small but significant memory of his wife:
“She had this laugh,” he said quietly. “It wasn’t perfect. It was a little too loud, and sometimes it ended in a snort. But God, I loved that laugh.”
At that moment, John isn’t a hardened producer. He’s a man, vulnerable and aching, but beginning to heal. Lori writes:
“Healing didn’t come to John in an epiphany. It arrived in pieces, like tiny shards of glass he carefully gathered, one by one.”
Healing isn’t about “getting over it.” It’s about integrating the loss, the pain, and finding a way to move forward—not in a straight line, but step by step.
1 Takeaway
Healing is not linear
Lori’s story of John reminds us that healing doesn’t happen all at once or in a predictable way. Some days feel like progress, others like setbacks. And that’s okay.
Every small step matters—a shared laugh, a memory revisited, or even the courage to cry. Healing isn’t about erasing pain; it’s about making space for it and finding hope in the cracks.
Tip #1
The 5 senses check-in
For the times when emotions feel too big, ground yourself by engaging your senses in the 5 senses check-in, as follows:
- Name 5 things you see,
- 4 things you can touch,
- 3 things you hear,
- 2 things you smell,
- 1 thing you taste.
This can bring you back to the present when emotions feel overwhelming.
Tip #2
Embracing the “messy middle”
We are always looking to finish, to resolve, even to heal asap. That’s not how healing works. Healing isn’t about rushing to closure—it’s about progress. Allow yourself to be messy, to stumble, and to have days when you don’t have it all figured out. Every step, even the wobbly ones, moves you forward.
Learning to embrace the messy middle is real progress.
“We are all unreliable narrators of our own stories. Sometimes, we need someone else to help us edit.”
— Lori Gottlieb, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
I hope you found this edition inspiring. If it resonates, share it with someone who might need a gentle reminder that healing is a journey, not a destination.
With warmth and light,
Aarti
