The unfinished stories we carry

Hi there, I’m Aarti, Founder and Lead Counsellor at Incontact. Welcome to the 11th edition of 1-1-2 Inspire!

We are all storytellers, even if we don’t realize it. Every day, we craft narratives—about who we are, what we’re capable of, and how the world sees us. Some of these stories empower us, while others quietly hold us back. The trouble is, we often don’t question these narratives. We simply accept them as truth.

But what if the stories we tell ourselves aren’t complete?

I recently worked with a client who had always believed she wasn’t “good with people.” She had grown up shy, struggled with making friends, and carried this narrative into adulthood. It influenced her career choices, her relationships, and even the risks she took—or didn’t take. But when we traced back where this belief came from, she realized it wasn’t entirely true. There were moments in her life when she had connected deeply with others, times when she had stepped out of her shell.

Her story wasn’t a closed book. It was an unfinished chapter—one she had the power to rewrite.

This made me reflect on the unfinished stories we all carry.

• The “almost” stories: Think about the job you almost got, the relationship that almost worked, the dream you almost pursued. These “almosts” often linger in our minds, shaping our identity in ways we don’t even realize. We internalize these near-misses as failures or proof that we weren’t good enough when in reality, they were simply moments where life took a different turn. What if we saw them not as losses, but as experiences that prepared us for something better?
• Inherited narratives: Some of the stories we tell ourselves aren’t even ours. They come from our families, our culture, or past experiences. Maybe you grew up in a family where financial struggle was constant, and now you believe success is always just out of reach. Maybe you were told as a child that you were “too sensitive” or “not a leader,” and those labels stuck. These narratives shape our self-perception, but they are not unchangeable truths. We have the power to decide which stories we carry forward and which ones we leave behind.
• The danger of a single story: Inspired by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk, this reminds us that defining ourselves through just one lens—“I’m not a leader” or “I always fail at relationships”—limits our ability to grow. The stories we repeat become our reality, but they are often incomplete. What if we explored the other sides of ourselves that we’ve ignored? What if we allowed new narratives to emerge?

The truth is, our inner narratives are not set in stone. They are editable. We are not just characters in our stories. We are the authors. And that means we can change the script anytime.

When we challenge and rewrite our internal narratives, we shift our entire perspective on what’s possible.

What if, instead of saying, “I’m bad at relationships,” you said, “I’m learning how to create deeper connections”? What if, instead of thinking, “I never finish what I start,” you reframed it as, “I’m working on building consistency”?

Words matter. The way we frame our experiences shapes how we live them.

The next time you catch yourself in a limiting belief (e.g., “I always mess things up”), pause and ask: Is this really true?

Look for evidence that contradicts this belief. Chances are, there are moments in your life where the opposite was true.

Shift your narrative from limiting to empowering:

• Instead of “I’m not creative,” try “I’m discovering my creativity in new ways.”
• Instead of “I’m bad at networking,” try “I’m practicing connecting with people one step at a time.”

You are not the sum of your past stories. You are the creator of what comes next.