Let It Go

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I often wonder how we define problems. A problem is a trigger that can be acute or chronic and disrupts your mental, physical, emotional, and cognitive state.

Problems make us feel helpless and out of control over our circumstances. Can we then create interventions to curate a system to manage these problems that periodically occur? While attending a meditation class, I realised it could be as simple as learning to let go. 

What makes us struggle so much with letting go?

It is often the enmeshment of our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about our problems. For example, we get comfortable with how much baggage we carry, and if we visualise that physically, it can surprise us. This enmeshment is the “fear” of change, change in relationships, habits, or lifestyles.

I have often struggled with letting go and tried to consciously curate the art of letting go. As I have experienced the times I have been successful, the impact the problem has had on me has alleviated significantly. If we can incorporate the ability to let go, we can create stability and grounding in most of our life problems. It can free us, or sometimes, I like to call it, cleanse us. We can develop an alternate idea to manage or perceive the problem impacting us. It can feel like we have unbagged ourselves and can even physically feel lighter if we are connected to the subtle cues of our bodies.

1)  Learning to be an observer
We are often so drowned in the problem that we cannot catch up with how we perceive the situation. The simple act of noticing what you are witnessing is significant to begin letting go. It is like sitting on my patio and looking at the problem, but I am not the problem. This distance and objective view of the problem can reduce the fear we experience with the problem itself. Through this practice, you can also connect with your inner being, which is never supposed to be entangled with the problem, the being is free, and only the human is entangled. So I tell my clients,” Do not be afraid to look at the problem as an outsider”. It is truly magical and will set the stage for letting go.

2) Accepting the problem and its manifestation
We often fight, flee, freeze, or even numb ourselves to our problems as a response to managing them. Accepting our feelings and thoughts due to the problem is critical in letting go. For instance, if it is anger, allow yourself to observe the rage and not fight it. We need to accept all our emotions around the problem. When we accept our feelings, we tell the universe that I have accepted what you gave us, which can be very freeing. No, it does not mean I love or like what I have received, but I will accept it by accepting all my emotions with it.

3) Visualizing the letting go process
You can sit in silence and imagine the problem or whatever the feelings associated with the problem being cut like a chord or packaging it into a container of your choice and locking it away so you do not need to access it all the time. This visualisation process needs to occur after we have learned to observe and accept the problem.

It is important to remember that letting go does not remove the problem but allows us to feel differently about it. It creates an ability to function along with the pain and develop some control. I like to metaphorise this; the baggage we carry while trekking a mountain. The trek can be challenging, and if we can lighten the baggage by letting go, we begin to experience our journey differently. As a result, our journey will be lighter and may even become enjoyable.